Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
