It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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