Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
