You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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