dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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