his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The air was thick with penises
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
