its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
