do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
