Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
