My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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