i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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