So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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