I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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