i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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