I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize