Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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