nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You pole danced in your parka.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
