I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
