yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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