My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
