Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
