I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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