so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
this hospital has no fireball
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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