quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
