3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
