I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
