he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
