Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We are two peas in an std pod
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
