I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
