god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
