spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
