Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
is it fun? or sober?
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