the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
