I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
