i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
