Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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