Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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