I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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