Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
