im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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