Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
