You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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