she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
