he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
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