I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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