and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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