Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
