In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
