I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
