My brain says no but my pants say off.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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