hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You made out with two different species that night
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
