So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
if only i could text you this smell
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
