think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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