this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The power of my boobs compel you
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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