so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's blow job season.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
