We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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