I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
